Feeling unmotivated

I'm pretty good at analyzing myself and knowing exactly why I do the things that I do.
I know I haven't looked for jobs since I sent in those three applications. I know why I haven't made an effort at organizing my life, my finances, my goals, and my room. I know why I keep on putting things off.
I'm scared of growing up. I know that it's a silly thing to be afraid of.
I want to have a successful job, a house, a family, and real responsibilities. I do! It's just really hard for me to take this first step into the "real world".
I keep on looking back at all of the things that have happened in my life and I keep on having regrets.
Why didn't I work harder in school? I had amazing grades, but I wish I would've taken on more challenging college classes during high school.
Why did I stay in relationships that were toxic and damaging? 
Why wasn't I a nice person?
Why was I always jealous of others?
Why didn't I put more effort in my college classes? I could've easily graduated in 2011, but my procrastination pushed me back.
Why did I let things get to me?
Why did I get so attached to people that left?
Why was I still angry over stupid little things?

Why?
Why? 
Why?

It's dumb, but I can't stop reflecting on my past self. It's not healthy, but I just can't move forward. I feel stuck in this rut. I don't like my current job and I'm not happy with my current finances. I know I can do better, but I just can't move on. I'm scared.
That's what it comes down to: fear. I'm scared that I won't be able to find a job that challenges me. I'm scared that I will get a job somewhere and be out of my element. I'm scared that I will fail.
This post is kind of a downer, but it's what I currently feel like. I love change and I love new adventures, but, for some reason, this one terrifies me.
I need to embrace this change and I need to get going with my life.
As weird as it sounds, I need to clean my room. I've learned a little fact about myself: if my room is a mess, I'm a mess. Once I organize and clean my room, I know I'll feel that motivation kick in and push me closer towards my goals.
Luckily, I don't work tomorrow and I hope that I can get some things done. Maybe even send out my resume to a few places!
We'll see what happens.