You have what you have...

We've all been told things like

• there's starving children out there
• people are dying
• people your age have bigger problems than you can imagine
• you shouldn't complain
• you have it so much better than a lot of people

Throughout my whole life, I just remember thinking, "Some has it worse. I shouldn't compare my little problem to someone else's big problem". 

I was feeling guilty for having problems...


But you know what I learned?
Yes, someone has it worse, but it doesn't make my problems matter any less to me.  
It wasn't until I read The Perks of Being a Wallflower, that it finally hit me. Someone put my feelings into words before I even knew what those feelings were. 
Here's the quote from the book:
“I think that if I ever have kids, and they are upset, I won't tell them that people are starving in China or anything like that because it wouldn't change the fact that they were upset. And even if somebody else has it much worse, that doesn't really change the fact that you have what you have.” 
I don't know why, but I've been thinking about this for days and needed to vent? 
What I really want to say is, if you have "first world problems", then know that it is completely acceptable for you to feel upset over those things. Don't let anyone tell you to stop feeling a certain way just because someone has it worse. It doesn't change the fact that you have what you have. 

Monster

It's been a while since we've had a new song from Imagine Dragons. Can't wait for more!!

Hello

So it's been a while, but I've been seeing these around so I thought I'd join in! Got the idea from one of my favorite blogs!
Making: some changes to my room
Cooking: absolutely nothing! It's been a while. I was working a lot and eating there. It's hard to cook at home when your mom just makes delicious food for you. Oh the joys of living at home!
Drinking: lots of water. Haven't had a change to eat much today because of a migraine, but my body is just super thirsty. 
Reading: Harry Potter series. I never read it, but wanted to read them all this year. I'm on the last book and don't want to finish it. 
Wanting: my room to finally be clean and organized, but I'm getting new carpet soon so that might take a while. 
Looking: forward to school. I have an interview for the Education program and I'm hoping to start classes in January. 
Playing: a stupid game on Nate's phone. It has no purpose and it's stupid, but I can't stop!
Wasting: lots of money. Some of the stuff I really do need, but most of it is just stuff I want. I figure I'm still young and unmarried so I can afford to spend money on the "wants" of life, but I just hate spending money. 
Sewing: nothing. Hopefully I get the sewing bug soon. 
Wishing: for a life without migraines. Honestly, they're no fun.
Enjoying: these few days off. Last week I worked 6 days, but this week I've only worked 1. Which might not be fun for my bank account, but I just need some days to relax and catch my breath.
Waiting: for my body to start changing. I have a personal trainer and we just got started. 
Liking: the way my life is going right now. 
Wondering: how some people seem to have it all together. Is there an app for that?
Loving: Nate. I rarely see him because of his work, but it just makes it that much better when we do see each other. 
Hoping: for a healthier body. Working on this one!
Marveling: at the simple things. I like to just watch the birds, the clouds, the rain and just how simple life can be sometimes. 
Needing: organization. I feel like my life is in chaos when my room is. I just need to buckle down, organize the clutter, and relax. 
Smelling: my lavender and sage candle. It's amazing!
Wearing: my pjs. Been in them since I got home from the doctor's office.
Following: my dreams. I was going to put off school for a few years, but it feels right to get started now. I can't wait to be in the classroom!!
Noticing: the colder weather. I wish fall would last longer in Utah. 
Knowing: that I'm in charge of my own happiness. 
Thinking: about work tomorrow. I hope I have my energy back by then. 
Feeling: awake. The migraine shot I got made me sleepy and I ended up taking a 3 hour nap. It's 1 AM and I should get to bed soon, but I'm not tired yet.
Bookmarking: DIY projects. I've done a couple of projects lately and I want to do more. 
Opening: my mind. 
Giggling: at babies. My friends have the cutest babies! 
Feeling: grateful. 

Summer

Honestly, this entire year feels like "summer vacation". I finished school in December and have been working/playing since. I miss the structure that school brought me and I'm really excited to go back in January. 
But until then, I will relax and enjoy a stress free vacation (that lasts an entire year!). 
I've been working a lot, but I've had a chance to get away a few times. 
I've gone hiking. 
I've been to concerts. 
I've been to Lagoon.
I've been to many weddings and baby showers.
I've been testing my luck in Wendover. 
I've read multiple books (currently reading the Harry Potter series FOR THE FIRST TIME!).
I've spent time with friends and family. 
And I haven't had to write a single paper since December. 
This week, I'm packing my bags and I'm heading out to California for ten whole days. TEN WHOLE DAYS! I haven't seen the ocean in two years and that is a tragedy for me. I'm very excited! And even though I just had a painful stye and a cyst this past week, I'm not letting that get me down. I will have my toes in the sand in just a few days! 
I'm hoping to go on some more adventures this summer. 
Maybe another skydiving trip? Some camping festivities? 
WHO KNOWS?
But, just in case you're heading out to Lake Powell sometimes soon, let me know! It's my favorite place in the world and I would love to get down there this summer. 

WORK WORK WORK

It feels like that's all I've been doing lately! I've been working, sleeping, and seeing Nate on the weekends. Today has been my only day off since Wednesday and I work every day until Friday. 
I'm not going to lie, I'm loving the income right now! I don't have any big expenses coming up and my bank account has been slowly, but surely, growing. I've been able to spoil myself with "Treat Yo Self" day and even bought myself some new running shoes and a polar watch!
I just barely started making some earrings and I'm hoping to open an Etsy store soon. We shall see how that goes. 
It's been a great summer so far. Haven't had a chance to go on vacation yet. Spent one night in Wendover to celebrate Nate's cousin's birthday and that has been it so far. I hope I can get to California sometime this summer. The beach is calling my name!! And a trip to the best place on Earth would be nice! (That's Lake Powell, just in case you didn't know). 
Anyways, that's a little update on my life as of late. Now I have some clothes to fold and some sleep to catch up on. 

Just a little update

Life is going good. 
I'm working a lot, which is nice. I have some money saved up.
I'm being more active, which is really nice. Even though my sore thighs don't like me right now.
I'm really excited to go back to school in January. I miss it. I can't wait to become a teacher.

I just feel good, you know?
Obviously, I'm not perfect, but I've been able to let go of a lot of hatred that was in my heart and it feels great!
I still have plenty of goals to achieve and I'm excited to work on them. 

Why Society Still Needs Feminism:

"Because to men, a key is a device to open something. For women, it’s a weapon we hold between our fingers when we’re walking alone at night.

Because the biggest insult for a guy is to be called a “pussy,” a “little bitch” or a “girl.” From here on out, being called a “pussy” is an effing badge of honor.

Because last month, my politics professor asked the class if women should have equal representation in the Supreme Court, and only three out of 42 people raised their hands.

Because rape jokes are still a thing.

Because despite being equally broke college kids, guys are still expected to pay for dates, drinks and flowers.

Because as a legit student group, Campus Fellowship does not allow women to lead anything involving men. Look, I know Eve was dumb about the whole apple and snake thing, but I think we can agree having a vagina does not directly impact your ability to lead a
college organization.

Because it’s assumed that if you are nice to a girl, she owes you sex — therefore, if she turns you down, she’s a bitch who’s put you in the “friend zone.” Sorry, bro, women are not machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.

Because only 29 percent of American women identify as feminist, and in the words of author Caitlin Moran, “What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? Did all that good shit get on your nerves? Or were you just drunk at the time
of the survey?”

Because when people hear the term feminist, they honestly think of women burning bras. Dude, have you ever bought a bra? No one would burn them because they’re freaking
expensive.

Because Rush Limbaugh.

Because we now have a record number of women in the Senate … which is a measly 20 out of 100. Congrats, USA, we’ve gone up to 78th place for women’s political representation, still below China, Rwanda and Iraq.

Because recently I had a discussion with a couple of well-meaning Drake University guys, and they literally could not fathom how catcalling a woman walking down University Avenue is creepy and sexist.
Could. Not. Fathom.

Because on average, the tenured male professors at Drake make more than the tenured female professors.

Because more people on campus complain about chalked statistics regarding sexual assault than complain about the existence of sexual assault. Priorities? Have them.

Because 138 House Republicans voted against the Violence Against Women Act. All 138 felt it shouldn’t provide support for Native women, LGBT people or immigrant women. I’m kind of confused by this, because I thought LGBT people and women of color were also human beings.
Weird, right?

Because a girl was roofied last semester at a local campus bar, and I heard someone say they think she should have been more careful. Being drugged is her fault, not the fault of the person who put drugs in her drink?

Because Chris Brown beat Rihanna so badly she was hospitalized, yet he still has fans and bestselling songs and a tattoo of an abused woman on his neck.

Because out of 7 billion people on the planet, more than 1 billion women will be raped or beaten in their lifetimes. Women and girls have their clitorises cut out, acid thrown on them and broken bottles shoved up them as an act of war. Every second of every day. Every corner of the Earth.

Because the other day, another friend of mine told me she was raped, and I can no longer count on both my hands the number of friends who have told me they’ve been sexually assaulted. Words can’t express how scared I am that I’m getting used to this.

Because a brief survey of reality will tell you that we do not live in a world that values all people equally and that sucks in real, very scary ways. Because you know we live in a sexist world when an awesome thing with the name “feminism” has a weird connotation. Because if I have kids someday, I want my son to be able to have emotions and play dress up, and I want my daughter to climb trees and care more about what’s in her head than what’s on it. Because I don’t want her to carry keys between her fingers at night to
protect herself.

Because feminism is for everybody, and this is your official invitation.

”

—	Caitlin O’Donnell, Drake University.

I've been away from the blog for a little while. 
I'm sorry. 
I'll be back with lots of posts soon. 

My 22 Acts of Service

My birthday was on the 14th and I wanted to do 22 acts of service. It was a long day, but I had a blast! This is what I did:

1. Returned the shopping carts to the grocery store 
2. Left a little treat for the mailman
3. Left a box of chocolates for my parents
4. Delivered some cookies to the police station - they seemed really grateful!
5. Left some notes around my old university
6. Taped some change to the vending machines - one was picked up right away!
7. Delivered cookies to the leadership center on campus - they helped me so much while I was in school. 
8. I went to Taco Bell for a quick bite to eat and paid for the person behind me in the drive-thru
9. Went to the laundromat and taped some quarters to the machines
10. Donated blood - this was interesting. I've donated before, but I always start to get really hot and feel sick when I do it. This was no different. They had to put some cold towels on my head and gave me a bag, just in case I needed to throw up. Either way, this was my favorite act of the day!
11. Went to my old workplace and delivered some doughnuts
12. Ate with some wonderful senior citizens
13. Bought a meal pass and told the cashier to use it on the next customer
14. Delivered some treats to some friends that I hadn't seen in a while
15. Went to my aunt's house and delivered some more cookies
16. My aunt and uncle were going out to eat and my cousin had to pick up the pizza so I stayed and watched the little ones until she got back
17. Helped my cousin make a cake for her boyfriend
18. Wrote a message to a person that I needed to apologize for - I was holding onto some anger for a while and I needed to apologize to her
19. Talked to a few people and set up a package for a friend that lives out of the state
20. I was a nice driver all day - this was tough for me. 
21. I held the doors open to people every where I went
22. I smiled at everyone that I made eye contact with

It was such a fun day and I was so happy that I was able to bring a smile to people's faces. This is something that I want to do more often. I inspired my aunt to do the same thing with her kids so they learn to give back on their birthdays instead of just receiving stuff. I highly suggest this to everyone! 

Just a few pictures of my adventures of the day!

(Also, I just want to say thanks for all of the birthday messages and for all of the messages I received regarding people doing their own acts of service!)

My birthday plans

I was inspired by this post: http://mixmingleglow.com/blog/?p=1358 when I read it a few months ago and I want to do the same thing for my 22nd birthday. I turn 22 this Thursday and I will be spending the whole day doing 22 acts of kindness. I just want to extend the offer to everyone I know and hopefully inspire you to do something nice for someone. It could be to simply open the door for a stranger, pay for someone's coffee, or even forgive someone from your past. 

Honestly, I can't think of a better way to spend my birthday and I'm so excited! 

I will post the list of the things that I did after my birthday and if you did something nice for others, LET ME KNOW! I want to hear ALL about it!! 

(If you're single, this is a great way to get your mind off of "Singles Awareness Day". And if you're in a relationship, you can do this as a couple! Think of how great you'll feel after helping someone out!)

Book #1

Confessions of a Shopaholic by Sophie Kinsella
I watched the movie and found it entertaining, but the book is a million times better!
Many things were different between the book and the movie, but what I really love about the book is the simplicity of the writing. I felt like I was reading someone's  quirky blog.
I did go through a bit of a shopping spree while I was reading this book, but it also helped me think about my own finances and how I can improve. I don't have credit card debt, but it showed me that I don't ever want to get to that point. 
The movie had more of a romantic story involved, but, in my opinion, the book had a better version of it. Before thinking about a romantic relationship, Becky Bloomwood had to take care of her own life before allowing a male character to enter the picture. 
It's an easy read and it's quite entertaining. I highly recommend it!
These are some of my favorite quotes:

      “That moment. That instant when your fingers curl round the handles of a shiny, uncreased bag—and all the gorgeous new things inside it become yours. What’s it like? It’s like going hungry for days, then cramming your mouth full of warm buttered toast. It’s like waking up and realizing it’s the weekend. It’s like the better moments of sex. Everything else is blocked out of your mind. It’s pure, selfish pleasure.” 

      “I can do this, I tell myself firmly. I can be attracted to him. It's just a matter of self control and possibly also getting very drunk. So I lift my glass and take several huge gulps. I can feel the bubbles surging into my head, singing happily "I'm going to be a millionaire's wife! I'm going to be a millionaire's wife!" And when I look back at Tarquin, he already looks a bit more attractive. Alcohol is obviously going to be the key to our marital status.”  

      “They said I was a valued customer, now they send me hate mail.” 

      “I love new clothes. If everyone could just wear new clothes everyday, I reckon depression wouldn’t exist anymore.” 

Book List

I found this list a few months ago (http://www.lovetwenty.com/2012/01/10-books-every-girl-should-read-in-her-twenties/) and decided that I would read all of these books for 2013. 
When I'm done with each book, I will write a post about it. It might be a summary or just a few lines that I liked. 
10 Fun Books Every Woman Should Read in Her Twenties:

1. Confessions of a Shopaholic (Shopaholic, #1) by Sophie Kinsella
2. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen
3. Girls in White Dresses by Jennifer Close
4. The Girl’s Guide to Hunting and Fishing by Melissa Bank
5. Bitches on a Budget: Sage Advice for Surviving Tough Times in Style by Rosalyn Hoffman
6. What I Know Now: Letters to My Younger Self by Ellyn Spragins
7. The Joy Luck Club by Amy Tan
8. What Did I Do Wrong? by Liz Pryor
9. 20-Something, 20-Everything: A Quarter-life Woman’s Guide to Balance and Direction by Christine Hassler
10. Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent by Judy Ford

Thanks for the great list, Alexandra Churchill!

Instead of "Resolutions"...

Every year, there's a flood of New Years Resolutions that are being made. By the end of January, most people have forgotten about their promises or just give up on them. 
I have done this many times before. 
This year, I want to create habits, but I don't want to start with 10 habits at once. I know myself and I know that I wouldn't be able to achieve every single one of them. 
Also, I didn't want to start on January.
With all of this in mind, I started my monthly habits idea. I still don't know what I want to do for every month, but for February, I want to start getting into the habit of being active. I started doing the 30 day shred at the end of January, but will be doing it throughout the whole month of February. Some days are hard, but I always feel good after a workout. 
I don't know how I'll feel about this at the end of the month, but I'm hoping it sticks. 
For March, I want to create a nightly ritual habit. I'm horrible at taking off my make-up and flossing, therefore, I'm going to try to create a habit of taking off my make-up, washing my face, brushing my teeth, and flossing EVERY NIGHT. I need to take better care of my skin now, because I'm not getting any younger. 
I don't have an exact plan for the rest of the months, but some ideas I have are: learning how to cook, making my bed every day, doing nice things for others, following a budget, going to church/getting closer to God, doing creative things, etc. 
I'll do a post at the end of every month with a summary of how my monthly goal went and what I have planned for the upcoming month. 
I hope this helps me create better habits!

Back on track

I made good use of my day off:

• I cleaned my room
• I did my laundry
• I did my workout
• I spent time with my favorite senior citizens
• I sent in a job application
• I messaged a family friend that works in HR for a company to see if she could help me find a job 

Now I'm off to read for a bit and then to dreamland!

Feeling unmotivated

I'm pretty good at analyzing myself and knowing exactly why I do the things that I do.
I know I haven't looked for jobs since I sent in those three applications. I know why I haven't made an effort at organizing my life, my finances, my goals, and my room. I know why I keep on putting things off.
I'm scared of growing up. I know that it's a silly thing to be afraid of.
I want to have a successful job, a house, a family, and real responsibilities. I do! It's just really hard for me to take this first step into the "real world".
I keep on looking back at all of the things that have happened in my life and I keep on having regrets.
Why didn't I work harder in school? I had amazing grades, but I wish I would've taken on more challenging college classes during high school.
Why did I stay in relationships that were toxic and damaging? 
Why wasn't I a nice person?
Why was I always jealous of others?
Why didn't I put more effort in my college classes? I could've easily graduated in 2011, but my procrastination pushed me back.
Why did I let things get to me?
Why did I get so attached to people that left?
Why was I still angry over stupid little things?

Why?
Why? 
Why?

It's dumb, but I can't stop reflecting on my past self. It's not healthy, but I just can't move forward. I feel stuck in this rut. I don't like my current job and I'm not happy with my current finances. I know I can do better, but I just can't move on. I'm scared.
That's what it comes down to: fear. I'm scared that I won't be able to find a job that challenges me. I'm scared that I will get a job somewhere and be out of my element. I'm scared that I will fail.
This post is kind of a downer, but it's what I currently feel like. I love change and I love new adventures, but, for some reason, this one terrifies me.
I need to embrace this change and I need to get going with my life.
As weird as it sounds, I need to clean my room. I've learned a little fact about myself: if my room is a mess, I'm a mess. Once I organize and clean my room, I know I'll feel that motivation kick in and push me closer towards my goals.
Luckily, I don't work tomorrow and I hope that I can get some things done. Maybe even send out my resume to a few places!
We'll see what happens.

30 Day Shred

I started the 30 day shred a week ago. I had to miss Saturday's workout because it was a very hectic day.  
For some reason, I just can't get the energy to get off my butt and do the workout today! 
I have been eating like crap this past week so I haven't seen many changes, but I've been able to get better with the workouts. I don't have to take as many breaks and I'm doing some of the advanced moves (except for push ups. I suck at push ups!), but hopefully I will be able to eat better as I progress. 
My birthday is coming up and I just got my Tucanos birthday card the other day. I know I will overeat, but I hope that I'm able to control myself for the rest of the month. 

Now that I've written about it, I feel like I can get the energy to do this workout. I mean...it's only 20 minutes! I CAN DO THIS! 

First post!

I've had other blogs before this one, but have deleted them. We'll see how this one goes!

I will post about my days, my adventures, and what life after college is all about.